Do you have your own back?

Or do you instead berate yourself? Are you hard on yourself? Do you tell yourself that you are lazy or not good enough? When you are moving towards your dreams, is your inner voice telling you not to bother trying because you’re never going to get there anyways?

Let’s get brutally honest and real for a moment. If our friends said to us what we say to ourselves in our minds, they wouldn’t be our friends for very long. One more time in caps?


Our friends are smart. First of all and most importantly, they want us to keep being friends with them. Why? Because we’re awesome and they love us! Secondly, on some level our friends know that criticism is not going to assist us in moving towards our goals.

I’ll let you in on a secret. We’re friends to people too! We too know the aforementioned to be true or we would criticize our friends instead of encouraging them. Deep down we all know criticism without redirection and positive feedback is debilitating to motivation, progress and growth. That’s why we don’t dish it out to others. Why then do we do this to ourselves?
I’m going to hold off on that question, as I’m sensing some of you may be thinking that if you let go of that inner critic you will begin to fail. Let’s ask a different question. What have you been accomplishing? Has it been a fun journey along the way or do you feel tired and like a failure?

The more you pick on yourself, the worse you feel. The worse you feel, the more difficult it is to accomplish things. The more difficult it is to accomplish things, the worse you feel. Since you feel awful and you are not accomplishing things at a desirable rate, you start to pick on yourself even more. STOP! Be kind to yourself. In this moment, say to yourself what your most supportive friend would say to you!

Why do we do this to ourselves? Because our subconscious learned at a young age that it would work for us. The subconscious is like a dog with a bone. Once it’s found a good hiding spot, it keeps using it. That’s great! When we were children, it worked well, as our greatest challenges were dealing with the alphabet and simple mathematics. Now we are dealing with mortgages, jobs, taxes, relationships and much more. Forever could be spent on thinking about the whys. Take action now! Every time you notice your inner critic ask it to help not hamper you. Get your subconscious voice to support you. Update its programming. Choose now to consciously engage and be “relentlessly kind and loving” to yourself today and make your inner voice your best friend.